#WhiteGenocide – How I Single-Handedly Caused Racism in South Africa

So this month I single-handedly created racism in South Africa. I know, I know – you’re probably wondering: “How on Earth did a twenty-year-old girl that lives in neither South Africa nor Cape Town, create racism here?” (and if you’re not wondering that, at least you should be wondering what you did with your weekend while some of us created identity-crises in an entire population. I mean, it’s starting to look like a ‘lazy weekend’ is code for chronic underachievement for you here, pal)

In the spirit of political satire I started a twitter-hashtag named “#whitegenocide” in which I sort to a) poke fun at whites that fear the onset of white genocide in South Africa upon Nelson Mandela’s death b) entertain myself because being a young person, I get bored quite easily.

But it turns out, a sister can’t make fun of the mass slaughter of people of European descent without people getting all nazi in her twitter mentions. Well, you live and you learn.

In any case, the response to my tweets was overall positive, a lot of the ‘twitter intellectuals’ on my side of the twitterverse thought the whole thing quite hilarious. And the nervous giggles from the whites that were unsure if I was joking or not (I wasn’t—just kidding! Of course I was…or was I?) only added to my wanton delight.

Then came the dark side of twitter; or as I like to call it—the crazy white people side of twitter, that started a #firesiyandawrites campaign to get me fired from a job I didn’t know I had as they “reported” me to every single anti-genocide organisation and police force they could think of (which, oddly enough didn’t include one in my own country, haha—turns out there’s no minimum IQ required of racists—who would have thought?).

Quite soon, I started getting death threats from them and being called every single N-word that has ever existed. (How was your weekend?)

At first I wondered why—because my naïveté isn’t just something I feign to manipulate middle-aged men into buying me drinks. For some time I allowed my elitist mentality to blame their response on their own lack of humour.

But that truly wasn’t the case. I soon realised that I was at fault. I had created racial tension in South Africa. I had single-handedly inspired a hatred of black people, in white people that definitely didn’t exist in SA after 1994. (And why would it, Mandela danced at the Rugby world cup and everything was irrevocably fixed.)

My tweets about the flesh of white people tasting like “everything [black people] have ever been denied” may have seemed like a way for black people to laugh off the feelings of having gotten the short-end of the ‘rainbow-nation’ stick, but were in actual fact planting within black people a dissatisfaction with the status quo—a dissatisfaction that clearly did not exist before.

Where I thought I was uniting whites and blacks over an exchange of marinade-sauce recipes that go best with white flesh, I was actually inspiring division. Weird, right?

And for that I can never stop feeling sorry. For you see, it appears I have completely misread the social situation in SA. Apparently, my #whitegenocide trending-topic was nothing more than a rock in the path of the South African masses that threatened to trip them, as they held hands across racial lines and skipped down the path of racial harmony. [sighs]

And for that I’m eternally apologetic.

But God help me if Ian Khama finds out about this.

[for more of my twitter shenanigans follow me on twitter under handle @siyandawrites]

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13 thoughts on “#WhiteGenocide – How I Single-Handedly Caused Racism in South Africa

  1. I have NEVER in my entire life, come cross ANYBODY as sheerly, utterly, pigheadedly idiotic as you. Have you bothered to do any research on the subject before joking about it?? Did you see the pics of the white women that was disembowled and raped, where their wombs cut out of their still alive bodies with broken bottle pieces, and ‘kill the boer’ written on the wall in their blood??? Babies that was shot exicution style??? Fathers that died defending their families??? Did you get the one where the perp admitted doing it ‘because they were white’ So you say you get bored easily, i can fix that , you can research every one of the 70 000 murders comited in the last two decades that you joke about. I put it to you, that you are either deliberately antagonizing the situation, or you are like a two year old child looking for attention and don’t give a flying f#ck who gets hurt in the process as long as you get what you want.

    1. Cecilia, I think the whole point of the article was to apologise to the people who were hurt. Also those 70 000 murders committed in the last two decades were not purely based on race, it’s not just white people who die. Murder isn’t a post apartheid phenomenon, so if you really want to be fair how about we revisit all the murders that have taken place in this wonderful country?

    2. Oh, And for the record Cecilia:

      When you share images like this one (https://www.facebook.com/The.Real.South.Africa/photos/a.131536790265889.35835.127884113964490/680041058748790/?type=1&theater) on facebook, with a comment “maybeDarwin [sic] had a point after all..”, what you’re implying is that black people are underdeveloped and less evolved than you (a white person).

      Now I’m sure this was a lapse in judgment or perhaps you meant to say something else? oh, wait, I know what it is, you’re a FUCKING RACIST.

  2. Many people thought as the rainbow nation we are happy together but as you found out the hard way SA’n rainbow nation is not really a rainbow nation.SA is black and whites who post 94 pretended to have gotten over the apartheid divisive thinking.What happened is people put their hatred for each other in a closet and went on smiling like nothing is wrong.Although the issue was funny to some,to some it was insensitive because if you spun it around and leveled it against blacks it would be deemed as insensitive.South Africa still has a long way to go before it becomes a proper rainbow nation

  3. Can’t take anyone seriously with the last name de Kock. It kinda makes you look like a dick. More Black people than whites get murdered in SA (you don’t seriously believe that number you gave do you? Swart gevaar.), yet Cecilia only talks about her precious white folks.

    1. Considering blacks are the majority of SA of course they’re going to be the “majority” being kill you idiot. But they’re being killed by their own people and are not being targeted because they’re in fact black. You completely ignored everything she said and instead attacked her name. Such a pathetic fuck! You didn’t even bother doing any research on this.

    2. THANK YOU! White Pain is the only thing Celia can see, clearly *eyeroll*

      Siyanda, keep on writing. I hope I’m around on twitter for your next onslaugt of cultural warfare by hashtag 😛

  4. In all honesty this is the best blog I’ve ever read. Thank you for making me laugh.

    “the crazy white people side of twitter” LOL

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