#WhiteGenocide – How I Single-Handedly Caused Racism in South Africa

So this month I single-handedly created racism in South Africa. I know, I know – you’re probably wondering: “How on Earth did a twenty-year-old girl that lives in neither South Africa nor Cape Town, create racism here?” (and if you’re not wondering that, at least you should be wondering what you did with your weekend while some of us created identity-crises in an entire population. I mean, it’s starting to look like a ‘lazy weekend’ is code for chronic underachievement for you here, pal)

In the spirit of political satire I started a twitter-hashtag named “#whitegenocide” in which I sort to a) poke fun at whites that fear the onset of white genocide in South Africa upon Nelson Mandela’s death b) entertain myself because being a young person, I get bored quite easily.

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How To Be A Twitter Intellectual

STEP ONE:  Begin by taking yourself far too seriously. Become your screen-name. I recommend you spend a week training your subconscious to forget your government name and respond only to  ‘@juicy_feminist’ or ‘@africanist_muffin’ or ‘@atheist_tapdancer’, or whatever clever name you gave yourself.

This is the only way that you can truly immerse yourself in your own self-importance.

STEP TWO: Read a few books on your topic of ‘expertise’. The number of books can range from anything between 0.5* and 3.

It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you constantly mention these books in ‘intellectual’ debates when proving to your opponent how very correct you are. (Don’t forget that you are always correct. And don’t shy away from reminding your followers of that.)

If you have a Master’s degree in your topic of expertise, don’t forget to mention it at least twice a morning. If you are in the process of getting your masters make sure to remind your followers of your #postgradproblems every three tweets and never, ever miss the opportunity to tweet them when ‘pulling an all-nighter on your thesis.’ The sun would explode if your followers missed out on that information.

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It’s just a competition: Why Botswana’s laws are tightening on alcohol consumption

IanKhamaLast month I saw the small space that Botswana occupies in the twitter-scope blow up when rumours that the government would be disallowing the sale of alcohol in the middle of the ‘Festive Season’ began circulating unabated on the internet.

There were many different reactions from various types of Botswana Internet Users varying from complete outrage to self-righteous defence of the proposed policy. I, however, found myself most amused by the reactions I got from the realm of Twitter that I consider myself to occupy—the international armchair-intellectuals’ Twitter.

Our neighbours from all around the SADC region did not shy away from openly ridiculing the proposed alcohol ban. I found myself being the Botswana representative in this little circle of Twitter as well as the butt of all the jokes that came along with this news.

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